Let's laugh small ooo
A newly married man arrived home from work looking down cast. His wife asked him, honey what is the problem?
Husband : I have a problem.
Wife: You don't say I when you're married, you say we. You know we're one, we share our burdens.
Husband: Okay, we have a problem.
Wife: What is it honey?
Husband: Our secretary in our office is pregnant for us!
Wife: You and who? It shall not be well with you and her. ..
Little boy :
Mummy, why were you jumping up and down on daddy's belly last night?
Mum:
Well sometimes your dads belly gets too big and mummy has to flatten it down again.
Little Boy:
I don't know why you bother, cause when you go to work, Sis Mercy of next door comes round and blows it back up again.
Nowadays if guyz are not careful ehn, with the rate of bleaching they can date a girl twice without knowing...
They'd be like...
Boy: Babe you look very familiar...
Girl: Yea... You dated me in 2012... I was black then.
Lol.
A new longest muscle has been discovered, it is called the palpebral anal muscle it connects the upper eye lids to the anus that's why when you blink your eyes the anus opens
I bet the mumu's are seriously
blinking to feel if the anus would open.
....lol I couldn't be the only mumu me sef person send am ooo.
Some definitions.......
MARRIAGE:
It's an agreement wherein
a man loses his bachelors degree and a woman gains her masters
TEARS:
The hydraulic force by which masculine will power is defeated by feminine water-power!
ECSTASY:
A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.
YAWN:
The only time when some married men ever get to open their mouth.
FATHER:
A banker provided by nature.
EXPERIENCE:
The name men give to their
Mistakes.
CLASSIC:
A book which people praise,
but never read.
SMILE:
A curve that can set
a lot of things straight!
Hahahaha, friends are always wonderful.
I reached home late last night and dad asked me "where were you?
Me : At a friend's place dad.
In front of me, dad called 10 of my friends.
4 of them said "yes sir, he was here",
2 said "he just left sir",
3 said "he's here sir, studying, should I give the phone to him? ��������and 1 of them went an extra mile to speak to dad (in my voice) "Yes dad...what's happening, am at my friends place"
I fainted. *seenoevil*
If you value your crazy friends pass your comment, I do have many...
BRIEF CONVERSATION BETWEEN A BOY AND HIS DAD
DAD: Hary, why didn't you go for the exam?
SON: Paper was tough.
DAD: Without going, how did you know?
SON: Paper was leaked two days ago.
A wife took her ill husband to see the doctor. After d medical routine check-up....the doctor confidentially told wife:
....Give him healthy breakfast daily, be pleasant and in good mood, don'tfight.
... Cook tasty dinner and don't discuss your problems with him.
...Stop watching TV shaws and Facebook.
...Don't demand for money or new jewels.
If you can do this for one year, your husbandwill be ok. On the way home, Husband asks wife: what did doctor say....?
Wife: your survival is not possible!
Hahahahaha.
Last month I went to see a nurse in one the private owned hospitals in ma neighborhood,after waiting for my turn I proceeded to see the nurse. in the medically decorated office sat a lady in her early thirties whom I assumed to be the nurse in charge.
Good morning ma'am I greeted humbly,I think a sickness has strucked ma joystick.
Hmmmm sounds strange,Can I see it?? She asked.
Promise me you won't laugh at what you see '' I said,loosing ma belt.
"Of course I won't laugh"' said the nurse. "I'm a professional. In over 20 years I'v never laughed at a patient.
”Ok then," I said, and proceeded to drop my trousers, revealing d smallest male part the nurse had eva seen. In length & Width was almost identical to an AAA battery. Unable 2 control herself, d nurse tried 2 stop a giggle, but it jst came out. Feelin vry badly dat she'd laughed @ my part, she composed hersef as we'll she could.
"I'm so sorry", she said, "I don't knw wat came ova me. On my honor as a nurse n lady, I promise dat won't happen again. Nw, tell me, wat seems to be the prblem?"
"Its swollen", I reply'd.
She practically ran outta d room.
After lots of flexing for sallah...check dz out........ A guy got so high and was searching for his missing phone with the torch light from the same phone he was looking for. Since he was so worried with the search and almost in tears, his close friend who was also high joined him in this serious search. After 2hours of searching, his phone rang, he picked the call and quickly told the caller: "I'll call you back, am trying to look for my phone" and he angrily cut the call and continued to search for the phone he just answered a call from. He decided to use the same phone to try calling his line and when he got a busy signal, he turned to his friend and said: " Guy forget, that phone don go, the person wey thief am dey cut as I call am just now
