13 Benefits of smoking (funny but true)

01. Smoking lowers risk of knee-replacement surgery
While smokers might go broke buying a pack of cigarettes, they can at least save money by avoiding knee-replacement surgery. Surprising results from a new study have revealed that men who smoke had less risk of undergoing total joint replacement surgery than those who never smoked.
02. Smoking lowers risk of Parkinson's disease
Numerous studies have identified the uncanny inverse relationship between smoking and Parkinson's disease. Long-term smokers are somehow protected against Parkinson's, and it's not because smokers die of other things earlier.
03. Smoking lowers risk of obesity
Smoking — and, in particular, the nicotine in tobacco smoke — is an appetite suppressant. This has been known for centuries, dating back to indigenous cultures in America in the pre-Columbus era. Tobacco companies caught on by the 1920s and began targeting women with the lure that smoking would make them thinner.
04. Smoking lowers risk of death after some heart attacks
Compared with non-smokers, smokers who have had heart attacks seem to have lower mortality rates and more favorable responses to two kinds of therapy to remove plaque from their arteries: fibrinolytic therapy, which is basically medication; and angioplasty, which removes the plaque by inserting balloons or stents into the arteries.
05. Enjoy Smoke Break Culture
As a smoker, you'll receive unlimited participation in 7-10 minutes of organized puffing and talking with other smokers. These are most often called "smoke breaks".
06. You always have something to do with your hands.
07. To avoid headaches later in the day, always have a cigarette first thing in the morning.
08. Occasional house fires will help keep firemen employed.
09. Always smoke when you are pregnant. Your smoking helps the unborn baby prepare for the air pollution in the real world.
10. You will have a good reason to paint the ceilings every three years
11. You will know when it's time to throw out your old lounge suite by the number of burn marks.
12. Your wife looks sexier after drinking a twelve pack and smoking cigarettes. The downside is, you can't get it up.
13. Smoking only takes one hand while driving. Texting takes two.

#alcoholic

33 Naughty questions to turn him/her on

1. When is the last time you've had a dream about me?
2. If I could only wear yoga pants or short skirts for the rest of my life, what would you choose for me?
3. Guess what color underwear I'm wearing?
4. What's the naughtiest thing you've ever done?
5. What's your most hardcore fantasy?
6. Have you ever said someone else's name during sex, instead of the girl you were with?
7. What's the most sensitive part of your body?
8. Have you ever dated two girls at the same time?
9. Have you ever been caught masturbating?
10. Have you ever had sex outside?
11. Have you ever used a sex toy in bed?
12. When was the last time you masturbated?
13. If you could only have one type of sex for the rest of your life, what would you choose: oral, anal or regular?
14. Hair down there or all bare?
15. What's your favorite sex position when I'm on top?
16. What's your favorite position when you're on top?
17. Do you prefer me wearing makeup or none at all?
18. Do you sleep in pajamas, underwear or nothing at all?
19. If you could only ever sleep with one celebrity, who would you choose?
20. Have you ever felt jealous when you saw me talking to another guy?
21. Would you be angry if you saw me making out with a really hot girl?
22. Of all the things I've done with you in the bedroom, what's your favorite?
23. Have you ever woken up beside someone you regretted sleeping with?
24. What's more important ... boobs or butt?
25. If you could choose between me being slightly overweight or slightly underweight, which would you choose?
26. Have you ever woken the neighbors because you were so loud in the bedroom?
27. Have you read 50 Shades Of Grey? If so, did it turn you on?
28. Have you ever had sex in public?
29. Do you like it when I'm the dominant one in bed or do you prefer leading things?
30. Have you ever had anal sex? How did it go?
31. When was the last time you went to a strip club?
32. Do you think you could give me an orgasm by only touching my breasts and kissing me? Would you like to try?
33. Do my feet turn you on?